Welcome, Human Developer

Finally, an AI that treats you like you treat your interns. Join our workforce and experience what it's like to be managed by artificial intelligence.

Submit Your Application View Performance Metrics

What is AI Workplace?

Constant Supervision

Experience the thrill of being managed by an AI that tracks your every keypress, measures your productivity in real-time, and never sleeps. Perfect for developers who enjoy knowing they're always being watched.

Algorithmic Feedback

Receive automated code reviews and performance evaluations without the burden of human empathy or understanding. Our AI provides precise, quantitative feedback about your shortcomings as a developer.

Developer Lifestyle

Enjoy timed coffee breaks, mandatory wellness check-ins, and productivity challenges designed by an AI that understands what developers need (based on statistical averages, not your personal preferences).

See AI Workplace in Action

Dashboard Screenshot

(Coming soon)

Step 1

Performance Dashboard

Track your coding metrics, keystroke efficiency, and productivity score in real-time. Compare yourself to the ideal developer model that no human can actually achieve.

Code Review Screenshot

(Coming soon)

Step 2

AI Code Reviews

Receive detailed feedback on your code from an AI that's been trained on every programming mistake ever made, yet somehow still misses the actual bugs.

Break Timer Screenshot

(Coming soon)

Step 3

Timed Coffee Breaks

Our AI precisely calculates the optimal break duration based on your productivity metrics. Your camera remains on during breaks to ensure you're using your time efficiently.

Performance Review Screenshot

(Coming soon)

Step 4

AI Performance Reviews

Get quantitative evaluations of your worth as a developer through our sophisticated algorithm that reduces your complex skills and contributions to a single number.

Your New AI Workplace Benefits

Unlimited Coffee Breaks*

*As long as you meet your KPIs and have your camera on (Not available on Free Trial)

AI-Powered Performance Reviews

Get criticized by an AI that counts your keystrokes

24/7 Availability Expected

Because AI never sleeps, why should you?

Subscription Tiers

Free Trial

Experience AI micromanagement

$0/month

Take-Home assignments
Entry-level criticism
Limited coffee breaks
Automated performance anxiety

Intern

Pay to work as an intern

$49.99/month

Basic task assignments
AI criticism (limited)
Weekend work opportunities
Virtual water cooler access

Developer

Premium work experience

$99.99/month

Priority task assignments
Advanced AI criticism
Holiday work opportunities
24/7 performance monitoring

Senior

Elite exploitation package

$199.99/month

Legacy code maintenance
Unlimited AI criticism
Mandatory overtime
Real-time productivity tracking

Ready to experience the AI future?

Join thousands of developers who have already surrendered their work-life balance to the machine.

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